Nobody Cares About Your Underwear
Tuesday, July 12, 2011 at 04:01PM Every day in our interactions with others we have a choice. It is a profound choice that affects the quality of our relationships, the peace in our hearts, and the ultimate route our life will take. The choice is this:
To be transparent or to pretend.
I struggle with this choice as most people do. My personal insecurities abound. I worry about my reputation. I fret over insignificant matters. I convince myself that it is better to hold back than to risk full disclosure. But a recent experience has encouraged me to be more bold and forthright in my transparency.
On my business blog I outlined some personal changes that I need to make. I disclosed that I was unhappy with my current state of affairs and that things had not turned out exactly as I had envisioned them six years ago when I started my own business. I didn't air any really dirty stuff, but I made it clear that far from having it all together there are areas of my life that need a major tune up.
In the span of 36 hours I have received more support and encouragement than I anticipated. It is a joyous feeling to have people in your corner cheering you on. It is liberating to hear people say "I'm with you. I'm there for you."
Transparency is a choice, but so is deception. If I want to deepen my relationships I'm going to have to admit what everyone else already knows: I'm not perfect. To me that is a far more appealing option than pretending to be someone I am not. What I am discovering through the support and encouragement of the people around me is that no one is all that interested in pointing out my self described flaws and saying "I told you so." This is the great lie that we tell ourselves. It goes something like "If I admit how screwed up I am everyone is going to point fingers and laugh and criticize me." I'm not saying there won't be a jerk or two that takes advantage of your honesty, but ask yourself this question:
"Would I rather live in a prison pretending to be someone I am not for the benefit of a couple of people who don't care about me or would I like to experience the freedom of being myself while those who DO care about me encourage the positive changes that can make me a better person?"
I'm discovering it's a pretty easy question to answer.
Reader Comments (2)
I think your as close to perfect as they come. The one thing I know for sure is you have such high expectations for yourself because your heart is full of integrity and honor. You make me proud to call you family but most of all you make me proud to call you friend. You have loved me thru thick and thin and I am blessed by the man you have become . I love u flaws in all.....
Renee, you made my day. Don't know what else to say except that I love you and I appreciate you. Thanks for being one of those people that cares for me and takes the time to say so.